I've been feeling really angry lately. While I would love to blame it on the stars, ultimately I've needed to do some looking within.
Anger has been coming up as a mom, and I've been seeing others struggling with it in sessions. I've been working hard on my own figuring out what anger is, and how do I allow it to move without hurting the people around me? What does that look like? Too often, I either suppress it, or allow it to come out in an unhealthy way. For many of us that means taking it out on the one's we love. As a side note, this is really terrible, and yet makes sense in a strange way: they're the one's that feel safe and we know will still love us. If we took out our neurosis with a stranger, most likely they'd be pretty quick to walk away. Yet, frankly, what an awful pattern. This is our desire to be liked rather than truly seen; we aren't comfortable with our shadowy angry side, nor is our culture. These are patterns and beliefs that have been passed down for generations and stems from a fear of being separated from our tribe. But that's a whole other topic...
We all have anger. For most of us, anger is stored in the liver. Chronic anger can be a sign of a stagnant or stuck liver. While doing a liver cleanse can be a great way to move the energy, we also need to repattern our energy and relationship to anger. Many of us see it as a negative emotion, however it often comes from a place of wisdom. It shows us when our boundaries are being crossed, or when something is asking to be healed. Whenever I'm angry, it's an opportunity to ask what is underneath, begging to be seen.
How does this relate to love?
The heart is at the center of it all. It connects to all the organs in the body, literally pumping life in the form of blood. But we protect it, and when we protect it we shut ourselves off from the learning happening in the rest of the body. We don't allow love to connect to our boundaries, our fear, our anger.
When we feel anger, it feels the opposite of love. We shut off one in order to feel the other. Anger can be a sacred emotion, just as love is. When we allow ourselves to hear the wisdom anger brings us, can we also allow it to connect with our heart? What would the wisdom look like then, and how much more successfully could we communicate it if we did?
What would it look like if we allowed all of our emotions to be held by love? What if love wasn't up in a tower where it's safe, but messy and intertwined with the shadow?
What if we loved our anger?
Not in a way that excused it or fed it, but in a soft mama way: giving it space and room to breathe without hot-potatoing it onto the one's around us. It seems to me it would run much more pure if we did. And there would be a whole lot of love through the process, which is what we all really need.
Try visualizing the communication between the heart and the liver. Get quiet and listen. See the energy ebbing and flowing, back and forth. Is there anything stopping you, or any part of yourself resisting? Use that curiosity to find out more, and surround yourself with love while you do. I'd love to hear about what you find out!
Love on the journey,