I've inherited a bit of my dad. Like him, if I don't get time to myself, I can take it out through anger on my family. My temper tends to come when I let my boundaries be crossed - when I say yes and mean no, or don't say anything at all when there's a lot to be said. It makes me furious with myself, and then it becomes easy to blame everyone around me.
I also have a son that gets angry, and although his is a different quality, it still needs to be worked with. His often surprises me, and leaves me baffled as to what to do with it. It isn't silent and seething; it's loud and aggressive and wailing.
So this weekend, when we had a confrontation, I showed him the video below from Mindful Schools. We decided to make a "Brain Jar" (his name) to help him calm down when he's having a hard time making the choice on his own. He shakes it up and breathes while watching the glitter settle. We realized pretty quickly we were making it for the whole family.
Do I think a jar of glitter will prevent any anger from coming into the house? No, of course not. But I do notice that I need different tools to help shake things up. (Plus, who doesn't love glitter all neat and tidy in a jar?) I have my usual tools that can lose their spark of inspiration when they are used often. And if the jar can help me take a breath to understand my anger, then I can hear the wisdom that's underneath and use it find a solution.
I'd LOVE to hear your ways of working with anger! Meditation? Breath? Leave me a comment below.