Lately, I've been trying hard to be a spiritual girl. All those times I talk about how there is no right and wrong? I still have some (ok, maybe more than some) of that in my shadowy places. And lately, it's been showing itself in my spirituality. It always surprises me when I come across my good girl - you know, the one that wants to do things right - because I think I've already seen all the ways she shows herself.
Surprise! There is still more to discover about myself. What a shocker.
The other night, my husband and I went out to a fundraiser at my kid's school. We danced. I drank a little wine (all it takes is a little for me), and my inner little sister came out. I'm the youngest of four, so I've had a lot of experience with her. The impish one, that comes up and teases you as a way to connect. So I goosed my kid's teacher.
Luckily, she laughed.
It was a night of "fuck it". It was a night of stopping trying to be good, and just being me. I have that creative freedom inside of me that can be so crazy and wild, and I see it in my daughter. She's a great reminder to access that life energy. There's all sorts of reasons why, as I get older, I've justified putting that part of me aside more than I'd like. Especially when things feel hard and I start to feel like I need to take it all a little more seriously.
Sometimes, I just need to say fuck it. I mean, what is it about "being spiritual" that makes us want to kill the fun? All Spirit wants is for us to be ourselves. And when I access my fun, it helps move all the other junk that can feel so solid in myself.
So go enjoy the warm(er) weather. Maybe even walk the border of reckless. Know that you're ok. We've been working hard this winter. Let's lighten up.