Since the retreat, I've had an old issue regarding empowerment resurface. Having worked with my heart, and truly connected it in to my being, I found it safer to look at some of my hidden places. I felt loved and supported by myself. For me, becoming powerful has been a process, a slow learning step-by-step. This week I felt in my liver how I continued to hide and carry a belief that kept me disempowered. And I realized that I still believed that being powerful was not safe. I was floored.
I received a session and while working through it, I asked Creator to show me what it felt like to be in True Power. A memory came from earlier that week after I taught my meditation class in Dumbo. The class was fantastic and I walked away feeling spacious, peaceful and energetically huge. I was in the subway, and came upon a young man who was seemingly angry and unwilling to move his body, forcing others to go around him. Attempting to be powerful in his anger and inflexibility, almost daring someone to challenge him. All I thought was how small he seemed, acting so tough because he felt vulnerable and scared. With such an expansive heart, I could pour love over him, feeling my own power in being so connected to my heart. I wasn't afraid, nor did I feel that I needed to somehow put my power over him. I could just be in love without reaction or expectation.
True Power feels like love.
I believe that all of what we do comes from love underneath. Even fear is a love and protection of parts of oneself. Yes, it can be neurotic in it's manifestation, but when we feel into and allow our love for ourselves, great things can happen. I'm reminded of a discussion on the retreat of how love is like water: fluid, flexible, and incredibly powerful. We need to actively connect to this love in order to allow ourselves to find those hidden places and grow.
May each of you feel connected to your hearts and love for yourself, today and always.