I don't like feeling sorry for myself. When I do, I usually begin to berate myself: "Look at all the things you have that are amazing! You shouldn't feel sorry for yourself; you're a spoiled brat if you do." And so on. (Have I mentioned how good I've been at being hard on myself?)
But when the voice comes on to tell me what I shouldn't be feeling, I do one of two things: I feel it even stronger, or I begin to feel very tired and depressed. Because I'm suppressing something that's coming to the surface to be healed. And I'm telling myself that who I am in the moment isn't good enough. I need to be better before my feelings can be acknowledged.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful practices you can do. I recommend that every person on the planet adopt it as a daily habit. But when you're low, if it just brings guilt, then it's not helping you.
So I gently gave myself a hug, and acknowledged all the grief and feelings of loss. It's been almost 26 years since my mother died, and I may need to do this for the rest of my life. It's ok. And I've learned that when I allow myself to feel ALL my feelings, things are able to change. Sometimes not right away, but they do change. It takes practice. And when there is a shift, I can feel all the gratitude I wasn't able to access before.
Sometimes letting yourself be a spoiled brat can make you feel like a queen.